This question is exactly why I’m on a dating hiatus at the moment, since I just can’t bring myself to seek out a much older man, or play the cougar.
There are MANY pros for dating/courting/marrying/mating/partnering with black women. My suggestion to wm who are looking for a black woman to love would be to make sure she is not using you in some strange reverse Black Love scheme – where she gets to live out her Race-First SJW imperative, not by fighting “the system’ in abstract, but by using her influence to convert a single white man for the cause.Anyone who brings up The Lovings as an example of a man who risked everything for the love of his wife is using the exception that proves the rule. Not even to stick around and help raise HIS damned children. Black women demand more of white men as some form of COMPENSATION for his not being black. We demand more from white men as some form of PENANCE for the him not being our ideal BLACK man. I think black women are bringing our POOR VETTING SKILLS over to nonblk men and dont even know it. Any black women who is expecting random white men to APOLOGIZE for the oppression of the black male – oppression (which she secretly believes that individual white man is responsible for) that has DENIED her access to the type of BLACK man she wants – by expecting said random white men to make it up to her by being Hercules, Brad Pitt and Bill Gates all in one, needs to have a serious discussion about what they TRULY feel about non-blk men. Im amazed at how black women feel the need to make white men apologize for racism, but feel NO IMPERATIVE to make black males apologize for their sexism & misogynoir.Kendall, who pulls no punches when it comes to telling it like it T-I-IS said this. But the same women who didnt think enough of themselves to only give life, love, support and sacrifice to the black male who has EARNED it, is the same bw who now demand the white man hand her the world. We expect feats of strength, dismantling of systems, and for him replace the image of his own MOTHER with ours as some sort of downpayment on our love. We focus on LOOKS, HEIGHT, AGE and all that other mess that black people use to choose mates and dont even realize that if we want to WIN! Cuz I see a lot of Sistas who CLAIM to be open to IRR but are quietly SEETHING that they cannot get the BLACK man they TRULY want, and expect white men to REIMBURSE her for it through the meeting of ridiculous expectations to make up the difference. Black women don’t force black males to sit and watch documentaries on rape, molestation, FGM, child brides, breast ironing and all of the other Patriarchal madness that black men have a hand in with bw all around the world.They are trying to CONVERT wm into the religion of black suffering since they couldnt find the black one they hoped would lead in that area.Its duplicitous and ridiculous and I would encourage all white/non-blk men who are genuinely interested and open to partnering with black women to avoid chics like that like the plague.But often there’s this judgement and lack of historical contextualizing black women engage in whenever we have these discussions.