Rain rain go away catholic school girls wants to play Yo mamma is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Billy: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really? Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell Drinking and Driving An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. " Adam & Eve Of all the people in the whole of the human race, God chose Adam for a chance at eternal life. And the blondes reply "No we aren't even catholic." Sending your kid to catholic school is the easiest way to guarantee your kid will not be catholic Who needs a doctor, when your Catholic priest can check your prostate for free. Jesus said to Peter, "Come forth and I will give you eternal life." but Peter came in fifth , and won a toaster When the nuns are away the catholic school girls will play There are 3 fundamental truths about religion: Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Son of God, Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the Vicar of Christ, and Baptists don't recognize each other at the bar on Saturday nights. " The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! " Smoking Two Jesuit novices both wanted a cigarette while they prayed. "Why did the superior allow you to smoke and not me? His friend replied, "Because you asked if you could smoke while you prayed, and I asked if I could pray while I smoked! A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off Q: What do fat preachers do? A Catholic boy and a Jewish boy were talking and the Catholic boy said, "My priest knows more than your rabbi." The Jewish boy said, "Of course he does, you tell him everything." Two blondes walk into a salon and the receptionist asks "Are you sisters? Nothing is more exciting than when the priest says "now you may go in peace" Jesus walks into a motel, throws three nails on the counter and says "Hey buddy, can you put me up for the night? Yes, please continue to tell me why sex is bad since you know from experience And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking and praying. Q: What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? If money is the root of all evil, then why do they ask for it in church?
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, What would she do for a Klondike bar? Q: What do you call a detective from the reformation? A: He floated his stock while everybody else was being liquidated. Hell yeah I'm a catholic i've been addicted to cats my whole life Q: What do you call Pope Benedict XVI after his last day? Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman. Think of your father" Man replies "Haven't got a father; I'm going to jump." The copy goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. one of them are catholic kittens and another are lutheran kittens. So the guy said to the man, whats the difference between the Catholic kittens and the Lutheran kittens? HOLY WATER A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Catholic Terminology AMEN The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. CHOIR A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. Working for the Lord, don't pay much, but the benefits are out of this world.