But the problem with most views of boundaries is that purity itself becomes conceived of as a list, rather than as a kind of relationship with Christ, community, and a romantic other.Boundaries in dating are not first and foremost God's prescriptions for moral purity so much as they are God's structure of care for human dignity.She will understand on a deep level that you fear losing her more than you value respecting yourself.When that moment happens your relationship is on a downward spiral and will end soon enough.It isn't that popular Christian conceptions of dating boundaries are too big, but that their scope is too small. It will draw boundaries that reflect the full personhood of each individual by showing concern for every aspect of each individual—personal, emotional, moral, and sexual, to name only a few of those many interrelated aspects. Personal agency maintained by good boundaries furnishes romantic intimacy with meaning and substance.We ask physical and quantitative questions: “How many inches can I move my hand? So here are some ways to think about not only physical boundaries but also several fundamental aspects of personhood. Love presupposes freedom, and freedom presupposes the relational safety to say “no.” (2) Emotional boundaries promote relational health.You will be putting on a fake mask of masculinity and you will be quickly exposed.
(1) Personal boundaries promote individual independence. They protect a person's agency, space, friend/family/God relationships, and academic/professional contexts as their own—that is, free from invasiveness of their romantic other. There are several ways to exercise emotional wisdom with feelings.You will have all the resources you need to make decisions motivated by the desire to honor God first, not yourself (Prov. Boundaries do not so much stifle romance as empower healthy romantic intimacy.They do not so much keep people out as hold you together as you grow in relational intimacy.Whenever a person disrespects you or gets away with a little too much and you do nothing about it your self esteem WILL DROP.You put up with the crap because you don’t love yourself enough to not let people treat you that way. You need high self esteem in order to have the energy to set and enforce those rules but your self esteem drops every time that you don’t.Ever have a friend that was too nice and as a result people walked all over them? Unless you are the nice guy who is a human doormat, they treated you much differently because you have self respect and a back bone. Even though the people were the same, they treated you is different because you trained them to treat you that way.